Growing Up

Get a job......buy a car.....rent an apartment.....buy a house.....get married....have children....save money....Adulthood.

From the eyes of 7 year old me, adulthood looked that simple. There is a check-list, sort of, and these things just kind of .... happen, why because you are an adult, of course! In practice, not so much. There doesn't seem to be an on-switch for "Adulthood" and on top of that, and perhaps more importantly, it encompasses so much more than I thought possible.

Now, I do not claim to be an all-knowing savant, or to even possess some kind of philosophical aptitude [just an appreciation, really], so I'd be willing to bet that this post has not blown your mind. At least not because you've never thought about it before. Excellent, because I want your help: what has surprised you the most about growing up? And, what do we do with it all? Where do we go from here?

One of the most surprising things about growing up is friendships. As a kid, I feel like friendships were so fluid! Yes, it was crumby when you had a fight with a friend, and maybe it ruined the rest of recess. Sometimes longer, but [with the exception of a few] I don't remember being totally crushed by the dissolution of a friendship as a child. Do you? It presented a problem, and it wasn't fun by any means, but it didn't devastate. As an adult, I am not proud to say that I have lost more than one friendship. The pain is astronomical! It is the end of a relationship, and one that clearly was important, and it leaves a serious void.

On the other hand, friendships in childhood rarely impacted my life as positively as mine as an adult. What a curious thing it is! So often when I think about my day and count my blessings[, instead of sheep], I am overwhelmingly aware of how truly wonderful my friends are, and how much I love them.  I must say, it is a joyous "surprise," to take stock of how much love and gratitude you have.  I am fairly certain that while I was always one to voice my love for friends to them as a child, it never personally affected me this way; my gratitude matured as I did. I find that somehow depletes the void of loss, replacing it with a much more dense fulfillment.

So, dear friends, what say you?

Abroad: Why it Matters

I began this blog when I was leaving for Italy for a year to study, work, and envelope myself in all things Italian. While it didn't work out as I planned, I am beyond grateful for the experience.

Mine was a nontraditional study abroad experience, first in Reggio di Calabria during the summer. For y'all who are understandably unaware of how silly that phrase is, let me break it down for you: you can see the sands of Africa on the horizon in Calabria. We're talking the south of the south. A really, really, really good pitcher's stone's throw to Sicilia [15k]. So my love of heat and humidity was tested and increased as the temperature for the day was set at 100 degrees before 10a everyday. It was fantastic.

This town was authentic Calabrian. Our school was a school for international students who desired to learn Italian---talk about perfect. When you left class and went out into the street, you immediately had to put into practice what you had learnt! There were those folks in Reggio who spoke English, but they were few and far between. Italian was the only semi-guarantee you'd get what you wanted.

[I don't own the rights]

Me: Uhh, vorrei....un gelato, per favore.

Gelato man: Certo! Siamo in una gelateria! Certo vorrebbe un gelato! Dimmi un sappore, un taglia, se desiderebbe una cialda o una coppa o panna. Dimmi dimmi!

Me:........umm, vorrei.... un gelato, per favore. *point to the one with chocolate*



But learn we did. In fact, I am a firm believer of the deep end learning curve, ie throw them in the deep end and watch them swim. That's what Calabria was, in more way than one.

Both of my parents graduated from the same college as I did, so it wasn't foreign when I arrived there. It wasn't uber familiar, but familiar enough that I felt like I was ahead of the curve. In addition to that, my parents visited a bunch---as parents of a student and as alumni--so it felt more like sleep away camp that was only a few miles from home than a capital "c" College.

Italy, on the otherhand, was a different country! With a different lanugage! It was, by definition, foreign. So I had to adjust, feel things out, try new things and react to new situations, because everything was new! Each choice I made mattered immediately. A stunning experience, perhaps the first time I truly felt like an adult.My adult decisions carried me to Rome, the Vatican, Capri, Naples, Scilla, Taormina, Castelmola, Messina, Firenze, Lucca, Sienna and London. Not a bad deal for a first timer.

So go! Find the scholarship, scour student universe for a flight, research the programs and go! Challenge yourself to adulthood. You'll be happy with the results today and for years to come.