I was recently asked what advice I'd give my younger self, and I enjoyed the reflection. I came up with three pieces of advice, which seemed like a worthy post to add here!
1. set clear goals
2. identify and work on healthy habits (prayer, eating, exercise, virtue and time spent)
3. invest in relationships with people.
As a young person, I had big dreams, but I did not always suss those down into goals to get to the dreams. My husband, while we were just dating, introduced me to the idea of a Gantt Project -- a tool that helps one work backwards from a goal, identified the mini-goals that must be attained in order to reach the overarching goal. Although intimidating at first, this process crystalizes the way forward and can even help one to identify other opportunities along the way.
The second piece of advice is similar -- taking the time to discipline oneself in small things, building up to larger things. The first habit is prayer. The purpose of life is to know God, to love God, and to serve God in this world and to be happy with God forever in the next. It is almost impossible to know God without prayer. So, younger self, cultivate a life of prayer. Those other healthy habits - eating, exercise, virtue and time spending - build on those bit by bit. Every decision is an opportunity to grow in discipline.
And finally, grow in relationships with people. It is very easy to get caught up in oneself and forget the folks around you. This is a mistake. Invest in others! Take interest in what they have going on in their lives! Love them! These things are the key to a happy, healthy life.
I'm an engrosser. I am engrossed in Christ's Church, theatre, art, history, and the family of mine that grows with each hand I shake and hug I share. God blessed me with strong arms, a healthy heart, and eyes for absorption in all things fascinating (which, by the way, is an unending list).
Wednesday, August 8, 2018
Friday, January 13, 2012
Growing Up
Get a job......buy a car.....rent an apartment.....buy a house.....get married....have children....save money....Adulthood.
From the eyes of 7 year old me, adulthood looked that simple. There is a check-list, sort of, and these things just kind of .... happen, why because you are an adult, of course! In practice, not so much. There doesn't seem to be an on-switch for "Adulthood" and on top of that, and perhaps more importantly, it encompasses so much more than I thought possible.
Now, I do not claim to be an all-knowing savant, or to even possess some kind of philosophical aptitude [just an appreciation, really], so I'd be willing to bet that this post has not blown your mind. At least not because you've never thought about it before. Excellent, because I want your help: what has surprised you the most about growing up? And, what do we do with it all? Where do we go from here?
One of the most surprising things about growing up is friendships. As a kid, I feel like friendships were so fluid! Yes, it was crumby when you had a fight with a friend, and maybe it ruined the rest of recess. Sometimes longer, but [with the exception of a few] I don't remember being totally crushed by the dissolution of a friendship as a child. Do you? It presented a problem, and it wasn't fun by any means, but it didn't devastate. As an adult, I am not proud to say that I have lost more than one friendship. The pain is astronomical! It is the end of a relationship, and one that clearly was important, and it leaves a serious void.
On the other hand, friendships in childhood rarely impacted my life as positively as mine as an adult. What a curious thing it is! So often when I think about my day and count my blessings[, instead of sheep], I am overwhelmingly aware of how truly wonderful my friends are, and how much I love them. I must say, it is a joyous "surprise," to take stock of how much love and gratitude you have. I am fairly certain that while I was always one to voice my love for friends to them as a child, it never personally affected me this way; my gratitude matured as I did. I find that somehow depletes the void of loss, replacing it with a much more dense fulfillment.
So, dear friends, what say you?
From the eyes of 7 year old me, adulthood looked that simple. There is a check-list, sort of, and these things just kind of .... happen, why because you are an adult, of course! In practice, not so much. There doesn't seem to be an on-switch for "Adulthood" and on top of that, and perhaps more importantly, it encompasses so much more than I thought possible.
Now, I do not claim to be an all-knowing savant, or to even possess some kind of philosophical aptitude [just an appreciation, really], so I'd be willing to bet that this post has not blown your mind. At least not because you've never thought about it before. Excellent, because I want your help: what has surprised you the most about growing up? And, what do we do with it all? Where do we go from here?
One of the most surprising things about growing up is friendships. As a kid, I feel like friendships were so fluid! Yes, it was crumby when you had a fight with a friend, and maybe it ruined the rest of recess. Sometimes longer, but [with the exception of a few] I don't remember being totally crushed by the dissolution of a friendship as a child. Do you? It presented a problem, and it wasn't fun by any means, but it didn't devastate. As an adult, I am not proud to say that I have lost more than one friendship. The pain is astronomical! It is the end of a relationship, and one that clearly was important, and it leaves a serious void.
On the other hand, friendships in childhood rarely impacted my life as positively as mine as an adult. What a curious thing it is! So often when I think about my day and count my blessings[, instead of sheep], I am overwhelmingly aware of how truly wonderful my friends are, and how much I love them. I must say, it is a joyous "surprise," to take stock of how much love and gratitude you have. I am fairly certain that while I was always one to voice my love for friends to them as a child, it never personally affected me this way; my gratitude matured as I did. I find that somehow depletes the void of loss, replacing it with a much more dense fulfillment.
So, dear friends, what say you?
Monday, May 23, 2011
Abroad: Why it Matters
I began this blog when I was leaving for Italy for a year to study, work, and envelope myself in all things Italian. While it didn't work out as I planned, I am beyond grateful for the experience.
Mine was a nontraditional study abroad experience, first in Reggio di Calabria during the summer. For y'all who are understandably unaware of how silly that phrase is, let me break it down for you: you can see the sands of Africa on the horizon in Calabria. We're talking the south of the south. A really, really, really good pitcher's stone's throw to Sicilia [15k]. So my love of heat and humidity was tested and increased as the temperature for the day was set at 100 degrees before 10a everyday. It was fantastic.
This town was authentic Calabrian. Our school was a school for international students who desired to learn Italian---talk about perfect. When you left class and went out into the street, you immediately had to put into practice what you had learnt! There were those folks in Reggio who spoke English, but they were few and far between. Italian was the only semi-guarantee you'd get what you wanted.
Me: Uhh, vorrei....un gelato, per favore.
Gelato man: Certo! Siamo in una gelateria! Certo vorrebbe un gelato! Dimmi un sappore, un taglia, se desiderebbe una cialda o una coppa o panna. Dimmi dimmi!
Me:........umm, vorrei.... un gelato, per favore. *point to the one with chocolate*
But learn we did. In fact, I am a firm believer of the deep end learning curve, ie throw them in the deep end and watch them swim. That's what Calabria was, in more way than one.
Both of my parents graduated from the same college as I did, so it wasn't foreign when I arrived there. It wasn't uber familiar, but familiar enough that I felt like I was ahead of the curve. In addition to that, my parents visited a bunch---as parents of a student and as alumni--so it felt more like sleep away camp that was only a few miles from home than a capital "c" College.
Italy, on the otherhand, was a different country! With a different lanugage! It was, by definition, foreign. So I had to adjust, feel things out, try new things and react to new situations, because everything was new! Each choice I made mattered immediately. A stunning experience, perhaps the first time I truly felt like an adult.My adult decisions carried me to Rome, the Vatican, Capri, Naples, Scilla, Taormina, Castelmola, Messina, Firenze, Lucca, Sienna and London. Not a bad deal for a first timer.
So go! Find the scholarship, scour student universe for a flight, research the programs and go! Challenge yourself to adulthood. You'll be happy with the results today and for years to come.
Mine was a nontraditional study abroad experience, first in Reggio di Calabria during the summer. For y'all who are understandably unaware of how silly that phrase is, let me break it down for you: you can see the sands of Africa on the horizon in Calabria. We're talking the south of the south. A really, really, really good pitcher's stone's throw to Sicilia [15k]. So my love of heat and humidity was tested and increased as the temperature for the day was set at 100 degrees before 10a everyday. It was fantastic.
This town was authentic Calabrian. Our school was a school for international students who desired to learn Italian---talk about perfect. When you left class and went out into the street, you immediately had to put into practice what you had learnt! There were those folks in Reggio who spoke English, but they were few and far between. Italian was the only semi-guarantee you'd get what you wanted.
 |
| [I don't own the rights] |
Me: Uhh, vorrei....un gelato, per favore.
Gelato man: Certo! Siamo in una gelateria! Certo vorrebbe un gelato! Dimmi un sappore, un taglia, se desiderebbe una cialda o una coppa o panna. Dimmi dimmi!
Me:........umm, vorrei.... un gelato, per favore. *point to the one with chocolate*
But learn we did. In fact, I am a firm believer of the deep end learning curve, ie throw them in the deep end and watch them swim. That's what Calabria was, in more way than one.
Both of my parents graduated from the same college as I did, so it wasn't foreign when I arrived there. It wasn't uber familiar, but familiar enough that I felt like I was ahead of the curve. In addition to that, my parents visited a bunch---as parents of a student and as alumni--so it felt more like sleep away camp that was only a few miles from home than a capital "c" College.
Italy, on the otherhand, was a different country! With a different lanugage! It was, by definition, foreign. So I had to adjust, feel things out, try new things and react to new situations, because everything was new! Each choice I made mattered immediately. A stunning experience, perhaps the first time I truly felt like an adult.My adult decisions carried me to Rome, the Vatican, Capri, Naples, Scilla, Taormina, Castelmola, Messina, Firenze, Lucca, Sienna and London. Not a bad deal for a first timer.
So go! Find the scholarship, scour student universe for a flight, research the programs and go! Challenge yourself to adulthood. You'll be happy with the results today and for years to come.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Mother Mary Sings to Me
Mary, Our Guide
"Ecce Noster Feminia" Julie at The Corner with a View
"Simple Things" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite
"Simple Things" by Trista at Not a Minx, a Moron, or a Parasite
"Mary's vapor rub" by Elizabeth at Startling the Day
"Be Apostles of The Divine Mercy under the maternal and loving guidance of Mary …"
— Pope John Paul II, in a Papal Blessing to the Marians on Oct. 5, 2001.
Have you ever stopped and thought about the amazing concept of maternity? See, it seems so natural, I think it's easy to take for granted. Let me break it down for you:
Selfless giving of time, energy and love
Supersonic protective skills
Foresight
Ultimate comfort in discomfort
Supersonic protective skills
Foresight
Ultimate comfort in discomfort
Just to name a few. It seems like a list on the application for canonization! A woman houses and loves her child for 9 months, then raises her child, fending off evil, be it an ominous crack in the sidewalk or a hostile vigilante. She sacrifices her sleep, her lack of patience, her shyness and her self concern--funneling all of that energy into her child. She puts her child above herself. Period.
Mary, the mother of God, gets extra kudos for this. Can you imagine? You get a text message/tweet/status update:
AngelGabeAngel Gabriel
@Mary Don't fear, God loves you and wants you to carry His son. Name him Jesus. He's going to be better than you can imagine and be king.
Talk about pressure. Unsuspecting Mary suddenly has been presented with an awesome and terrifying gift: motherhood. More than that, it is motherhood in partnership with God!
Mary
Mary
@AngelGabe Um, I don't think that is possible -- I have no way to get preggers.
Yet, despite the shock of the situation, she fixates on how it could be possible. Isn't that interesting? She doesn't say, "Whoa whoa whoa, ummmm are you serious? Is this a joke? Whatchu talkin' bout Gabe? You've got the wrong girl!" But rather, "How interesting, but wait, how can this be, since I have no relations with a man?" [Luke 1:34]. Her concern is with its practical possibility, not whether it should be or not.
Angel Gabriel
@Mary No worries.God'll send down the Spirit for that.The child'll be the Son of God too.O yeah, your cousin's prego too.Isn't God awesome?
Gulp. Okay, lets not worry. God's going to send down His spirit. I'm going to become pregnant, just like my cousin who is aparently pregnant even though she has been thought to never be able to have children. Wow. Heavy. Well, I guess if God made that happen, what can I worry about? Elizabeth is much older than me and the shock of pregnancy at her old age was probably pretty tough, but she's doing it. God's got this. Worries gone. God has asked me to carry and love His son! Wow! :D
Mary
Mary
@AngelGabe Whatever God wants, I'm His servant. Let's do this.
Check!: Ultimate comfort in discomfort.
Check!: Foresight.
Check!: Selfless giving of time, energy and love.
Check!: Supersonic protective skills.
With that simple fiat Mary took on motherhood. Shabam. Transformation instantaneous. As we all know, thing didn't slow down for her once Jesus was born, hardly, it is almost like it became progressively more challenging. She was Christ's first disciple, following him from his very conception. It is no wonder that we are called to follow Mary's example as our guide.
I'm pretty sure when your child is Love itself, your heart expands and envelopes all whom Love loves; Motherly traits extend to everyone.
Monday, May 16, 2011
On Dating Nice Catholic Girls
My sister, a very accomplished blogger and finely tuned in new media Catholic, sent me this blog/article: On Dating Nice Catholic Girls.
I think this article starts out excellently, subtitled with: No hook-ups but no long-term ego-busts; nice Catholic girls teach tenderness and the valuable security of the everyday. A beacon in the darkness of article after post after cosmo magazine after snide comment about the dangers of women withholding sex from their male partners--yahoo! This guy gets it and likes that we have self respect!
Awesome.
The article pans out that way too, for the most part. His endearing description of his former girlfriend as truly beautiful, inside and out; as someone who doesn't need societal norms to tell her how much she's worth, but rather she knows inherently, and it was obvious. I must say, when I read that I was overjoyed--they do notice!
Hooray!
It finished off nicely, "There's a great deal to be said for nice Catholic girls: the up-front quality, all those depths made visible, like the ocean in a color-coded map."
At the tail end, he got distracted and sucker punched the women he was praising before.
 |
| Alas, I do not own the rights. |
"One thing, though: a lot of these JPII generation girls are starting to look suspiciously like Sexy Puritans. The other day, I saw one wearing a mantilla and the tightest pair of shorts in Tempe, which is saying something.
I'd better write my bishop."
Come on! JP II's legacy has permeated and inspired a generation, returning young men to the cloth, reinvigorating young women in their chaste journeys, no longer giving young men the 'boys will be boys' excuse but vehemently challenging them to a chaste journey as well, and most of all JP II inspired respect, love, mercy and compassion for all.
Whether or not someone chooses to wear "the tighest pair of shorts in Tempe" while donning a mantilla speaks nothing to her love of JP II or the Church for that matter. It simply speaks to her choice that day. One of the great things about mantillas is that it is an action to focus your thoughts inward, to the presence of Christ. If it starts with a mantilla and progresses to floor length burlap sacks, shouldn't we praise the mantilla instead of chastise the tight shorts?
This author has a great voice, and it is inspiring to hear his conviction for chastity and appreciation of the gift that it brings to a pre-martial relationship. I hope that we can focus on that, and leave sweeping assumptions about a whole generation for a totally different discussion.
Strengthen the argument for chastity by steering clear of Church politics.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
So I turned 21 in a Country Where I've Been Legal for 3 years...
Ahhh, 21. An age most people dream about, the start of true adulthood. Now you can smoke, join the military, go to R-rated movies, get your own credit card/insurance, rent a car, and drink. In America. Everywhere else you can do all of that at 18. Including Italy, which you may think would make my birthday anti-climatic--think again.
First of all, let's reiterate: I'm in Italy!! So already I'm pumped beyond normal birthday levels, but beyond 21st birthday levels? hmmmm, let's see.... I've been here a little over 3 weeks, working everyday and thus not really socializing at the local bar.
I have been hanging out with the family or other American aupairs [one of which, Katherine, is tight with Irina from Ambassadors....tiny tiny world!], Lindsay and Kate.
About 2 weeks ago it was Lindsay's birthday, Kate had not yet arrived, and we went to this SWEET little jazz bar called Charlie Bird and shared a bottle of wine, pizza, chocolate at midnight, and conversations with the bartenders. Lindsay and Lauren, the aupair before me, had frequented the spot last year and thus were tight with the bartenders. This gave us (on her birthday) some company, a free pass for the birthday girl to smoke inside, shots at midnight and when we left, as well as a major discount on the tab. Besides the already awesome vibe and chill music.
During that night I decided and told the bartender, Fuorio, that I'd be back for my birthday in 2 weeks. So Monday (September 21) night Lindsay and I went to an Irish pub intown so I could get a look and we could get a drink and then we went on the real place: Charlie Bird! there we shared a bottle of wine, vibing to the music, people watching a bit [there is apparently a Circus school nearby and the students frequent the place--jugglers, acrobats, clowns galore! How sweet is that??], all while Billie Holiday and Nat King Cole serenaded us.
The twenty minutes building up to messanotte/midnight Fuorio kept looking over to our table, silently asking if it was time....and at midnight Billie stopped mid-word and Paul, John, Ringo, and George rocked out "happy birthday to you," while another bartender brought over a plate of chocolate with a lit candle. My wish/candle blowing-out was shortly followed by a shot of rum with both of the bartenders and Lindsay. 1 1/2 hours later we packed up, headed out, graciously receiving both another discount and a farewell shot, as well as tanti auguri (happy birthday) to me. :)
An excellent start to my 21st birthday!
7am rolled around and brought with it the start of my work day. Other than tired, I was fantastic. Patrizia and Ruggi serenaded me with Tanti Auguri/Happy Birthday before they left for school and I promptly took a nap.
When I woke up I got to skype my mom and sister for a while before leaving to pick up Fil from school. Lunch at home and then pick up Ruggi at 4:30 with a quick turn around for a 6pm Karate, a 15 minute walk away. His first class!
An hour later we left, went home and were greeted by Luisa--Patrizia's younger sister whom I had never met--and a gormet dinner complete with sparkling wine, the fanciest and most important pasta in Piemonte [Angliotti with Ragù], fanciest pork/meat dish in Italy and a MASSIVE chocolate cake to boot.
Also we were greeted by a gorgeous bouquet of white lilies and white roses courtesy of my parents and sisters back home. :) I love flowers. They're so happy [a hard one, but name that movie! hint: daisies] :) Before the cake the Carpanetos presented me with a blue envelope, inside which were 2 tickets (plus 1 for Patrizia) for a concert at the Royal Theatre!!! Piano + quartet---my FAVORITE!!
Blushing profusely with extreme gratitude and surprise I thanked them endlessly for the whole evening to which they humbly replied that it was nothing, of course this should be how my birthday is. :)
One more skype date home with my mom, dad and Elizabeth and then the warm embrace of my bed. An excellent 21st birthday, complete with personalized bells and whistles. :)
First of all, let's reiterate: I'm in Italy!! So already I'm pumped beyond normal birthday levels, but beyond 21st birthday levels? hmmmm, let's see.... I've been here a little over 3 weeks, working everyday and thus not really socializing at the local bar.
I have been hanging out with the family or other American aupairs [one of which, Katherine, is tight with Irina from Ambassadors....tiny tiny world!], Lindsay and Kate.
About 2 weeks ago it was Lindsay's birthday, Kate had not yet arrived, and we went to this SWEET little jazz bar called Charlie Bird and shared a bottle of wine, pizza, chocolate at midnight, and conversations with the bartenders. Lindsay and Lauren, the aupair before me, had frequented the spot last year and thus were tight with the bartenders. This gave us (on her birthday) some company, a free pass for the birthday girl to smoke inside, shots at midnight and when we left, as well as a major discount on the tab. Besides the already awesome vibe and chill music.
During that night I decided and told the bartender, Fuorio, that I'd be back for my birthday in 2 weeks. So Monday (September 21) night Lindsay and I went to an Irish pub intown so I could get a look and we could get a drink and then we went on the real place: Charlie Bird! there we shared a bottle of wine, vibing to the music, people watching a bit [there is apparently a Circus school nearby and the students frequent the place--jugglers, acrobats, clowns galore! How sweet is that??], all while Billie Holiday and Nat King Cole serenaded us.
The twenty minutes building up to messanotte/midnight Fuorio kept looking over to our table, silently asking if it was time....and at midnight Billie stopped mid-word and Paul, John, Ringo, and George rocked out "happy birthday to you," while another bartender brought over a plate of chocolate with a lit candle. My wish/candle blowing-out was shortly followed by a shot of rum with both of the bartenders and Lindsay. 1 1/2 hours later we packed up, headed out, graciously receiving both another discount and a farewell shot, as well as tanti auguri (happy birthday) to me. :)
An excellent start to my 21st birthday!
7am rolled around and brought with it the start of my work day. Other than tired, I was fantastic. Patrizia and Ruggi serenaded me with Tanti Auguri/Happy Birthday before they left for school and I promptly took a nap.
When I woke up I got to skype my mom and sister for a while before leaving to pick up Fil from school. Lunch at home and then pick up Ruggi at 4:30 with a quick turn around for a 6pm Karate, a 15 minute walk away. His first class!
An hour later we left, went home and were greeted by Luisa--Patrizia's younger sister whom I had never met--and a gormet dinner complete with sparkling wine, the fanciest and most important pasta in Piemonte [Angliotti with Ragù], fanciest pork/meat dish in Italy and a MASSIVE chocolate cake to boot.
Also we were greeted by a gorgeous bouquet of white lilies and white roses courtesy of my parents and sisters back home. :) I love flowers. They're so happy [a hard one, but name that movie! hint: daisies] :) Before the cake the Carpanetos presented me with a blue envelope, inside which were 2 tickets (plus 1 for Patrizia) for a concert at the Royal Theatre!!! Piano + quartet---my FAVORITE!!
Blushing profusely with extreme gratitude and surprise I thanked them endlessly for the whole evening to which they humbly replied that it was nothing, of course this should be how my birthday is. :)
One more skype date home with my mom, dad and Elizabeth and then the warm embrace of my bed. An excellent 21st birthday, complete with personalized bells and whistles. :)
Back to School Blues
Week three: the start of school.
By this point I am decently knowledgeable of the schedule and life rhythms of the family Carpaneto during the summer. I figured that school would be a change [of course] but a good change because there was a more defined schedule. Despite this, I expected the first couple of days to be pretty high stress because that just seems to be the nature of change, stress inducing. Uh, hahaha, yes. 'Twas certainly high stress for a couple of days, in the boys more than anyone else.
We has a task Monday and Tuesday to organize and declutter the boys' rooms in the afternoon: every child's favorite thing to do, particularly after the first day back at school after an awesome summer vacation of both lethargy and adventure. On Monday, post-cleaning, the boys went over to their friends Pietro and Giovanni's house [they too are brothers and the exact same ages at Fil and Ruggi] for a couple of hours. Silvia, their mother, told me that I could go and do whatever I wanted/needed while they were there, so I traversed the city a bit and relaxed in the house. I traversed very little because I am so incredibly prone to getting lost as many if not all of you know and I didn't want to be late to pick the boys up. The free time was marvelous though, breathing in the changing air filled with school supplies, falling leaves, and the chatter of haggling Italians.
I picked them up for dinner with Nonna Mariucia [Alberto's mother] at our place. It was an Italian dinner, language and food wise. Alberto translated this and that for me, but I tried desperately to hold my own....I did pretty okay. Pretty very okay for only 3 weeks out.
Tuesday a friend of Fil's, Francesco, came over to play and we made bread clay! Have you ever made it? Well we didn't do it very well....it was way more like bread than clay, but they were content so there you go. After Alberto and Patrizia got home I joined Lindsay and Torino native Andrea for a reading/presentation in Teatro Regio (AN OPERAHOUSE!!!! :D it was amazing!!) with John Berger and Arundhati Roy. It was absolutely fascinating--I took 4 full pages of notes. The questions were asked in Italian, but as John Berger is British and Arundhati Roy is Indian (from India) both of them responded in English. It was man, amazing. They talked about the current global happenings in regards to renewable resources, war and destruction, the role of storytelling in one's life, exploitation in capitalism [this topic I wish I had heard and understood the question...]. Man, I mean just awesome. I love stuff like that!!
Wednesday was the first day that I picked up Fil from school, and even though I had a map, had walked it on google maps, and had specific directions, I got lost. :( Quite a frustrating thing, let me tell you. But somehow, miraculously, I was only 2 minutes late. No clue how that happened, but Filippo was hanging out with a schoolmate that he knew before--no harm no foul. Wednesday was also the first day that Filippo came home at 1:30 whereas Ruggi had school until 4:30, so we had lunch, just Fil and me. Behavior-wise, Wednesday was a stressful day. An extremely stressful day. But after Ruggi finished school the three of us went over to Silvia's house and hung out, me with the moms in the kitchen with delicious plum cake which has no plums in it at all...go figure...and the boys with the house-full of friends.
Thursday I started class! I had my first Italian class! I chose to take a conversation course at a language school not far away from where we live, and it was well rated and reviewed on many a language school website. :D I was so happy to go back to school!! And the class was awesome--all foreigners and the only language we all have in common is Italian, of course, and thus we just chatted with prompts here and there by the teacher for 2 hours in the morning! :) 'Twas marvelous.
I decided after talking with my parents and witnessing the stressful (lets just stick with this adjective, eh?) behavior of the boys all week long that the missing link was responsibility and incentive to behave well. So I went onto Supernanny.com to get some tricks and behavior charts so that they could behave well, working towards a reward that they really want and choose. This reward cannot be a toy or really a purchased item at all, the idea is to move them away from that, but instead time with Mom/Dad/Everyone, a special afternoon, a special cake, a special music lesson etc. So I printed this out and developed my plan with the aid of Supernanny.com on Thursday before going to get Fil from school. Thursday, thankfully and unlike the rest of the week, was absolutely gorgeous so we passed the afternoon outside at the park all the way until dinner.
Friday after the first week of school! The plan was to go to Lerici for the weekend! Hooray!! I was utterly exhausted on Friday, both physically and mentally, and honestly emotionally. It had been a terrible week of behavior, and try as I might I couldn't continue to tell myself that it was back to school stress enough in order to stay calm and patient. So I very very seriously considered sticking behind in Torino for the weekend instead of going to Lerici, but the beach won out :). I am so glad that I did. It was absolutely gorgeous weather Friday evening and Saturday. Oh my gosh! Saturday morning, Marta (cousin who joined us), Fil, Ruggi and I walked all the way over to the next town on the boardwalk, made a volcano in the sand complete with a trapped burning leaf so it looked like it was smoking, and leisurely walked back gelato in hand. In the afternoon we drove to a private beach---drop dead gorgeous. The beach took up the inner part of a cove that had rocky and tree covered cliffs as bookends. The ground immediately dropped off almost as soon as you dipped your feet in the water, and the water was warm! There was a dock out in the middle of the cove's water, with sailboats and yachts bright as the summer sun gliding on the crystal blue water. It was heaven, and the sun smiled warmly down on us the whole afternoon. For dinner we ate outside in the open air but parentless (took a mini date night) and poor Ruggi, who drank zero water all day long, was as sick as a dog....and just in case you were wondering rice and cheese is too too rich for a dehydrated stomach...
Sunday morning I got up early to go to mass--there was a baptism!! It was perfect because I still wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go to little baby cousin Federico's baptism the following weekend because i went to Cinque Terre. [If you are confused by the tenses, I am sorry. Unfortunately it is more confusing because it happened a little while ago...] It was very cool, but something that is very strange about mass here is that they don't use music! The language that basically invented musical notation doesn't really use music in their mass! In their celebration of God. Strange.
Pretty much right after mass it started raining, so we packed up early and headed back to Torino. That afternoon I went out for aperitvi/dinner and drinks with the newest aupair to come to Torino: Katherine. Check this out: she is best friends with Irina!! She's from NoVa, just graduated from Tech, and knows many JMU Ambassadors thanks to the lovely Irina. Talk about small world! We went to an English Pub intown and got to know each other. Veramente una buona ragazza. Very cool girl.
Sunday September 20, 2 days before my 21st birthday. :D
By this point I am decently knowledgeable of the schedule and life rhythms of the family Carpaneto during the summer. I figured that school would be a change [of course] but a good change because there was a more defined schedule. Despite this, I expected the first couple of days to be pretty high stress because that just seems to be the nature of change, stress inducing. Uh, hahaha, yes. 'Twas certainly high stress for a couple of days, in the boys more than anyone else.
We has a task Monday and Tuesday to organize and declutter the boys' rooms in the afternoon: every child's favorite thing to do, particularly after the first day back at school after an awesome summer vacation of both lethargy and adventure. On Monday, post-cleaning, the boys went over to their friends Pietro and Giovanni's house [they too are brothers and the exact same ages at Fil and Ruggi] for a couple of hours. Silvia, their mother, told me that I could go and do whatever I wanted/needed while they were there, so I traversed the city a bit and relaxed in the house. I traversed very little because I am so incredibly prone to getting lost as many if not all of you know and I didn't want to be late to pick the boys up. The free time was marvelous though, breathing in the changing air filled with school supplies, falling leaves, and the chatter of haggling Italians.
I picked them up for dinner with Nonna Mariucia [Alberto's mother] at our place. It was an Italian dinner, language and food wise. Alberto translated this and that for me, but I tried desperately to hold my own....I did pretty okay. Pretty very okay for only 3 weeks out.
Wednesday was the first day that I picked up Fil from school, and even though I had a map, had walked it on google maps, and had specific directions, I got lost. :( Quite a frustrating thing, let me tell you. But somehow, miraculously, I was only 2 minutes late. No clue how that happened, but Filippo was hanging out with a schoolmate that he knew before--no harm no foul. Wednesday was also the first day that Filippo came home at 1:30 whereas Ruggi had school until 4:30, so we had lunch, just Fil and me. Behavior-wise, Wednesday was a stressful day. An extremely stressful day. But after Ruggi finished school the three of us went over to Silvia's house and hung out, me with the moms in the kitchen with delicious plum cake which has no plums in it at all...go figure...and the boys with the house-full of friends.
Thursday I started class! I had my first Italian class! I chose to take a conversation course at a language school not far away from where we live, and it was well rated and reviewed on many a language school website. :D I was so happy to go back to school!! And the class was awesome--all foreigners and the only language we all have in common is Italian, of course, and thus we just chatted with prompts here and there by the teacher for 2 hours in the morning! :) 'Twas marvelous.
I decided after talking with my parents and witnessing the stressful (lets just stick with this adjective, eh?) behavior of the boys all week long that the missing link was responsibility and incentive to behave well. So I went onto Supernanny.com to get some tricks and behavior charts so that they could behave well, working towards a reward that they really want and choose. This reward cannot be a toy or really a purchased item at all, the idea is to move them away from that, but instead time with Mom/Dad/Everyone, a special afternoon, a special cake, a special music lesson etc. So I printed this out and developed my plan with the aid of Supernanny.com on Thursday before going to get Fil from school. Thursday, thankfully and unlike the rest of the week, was absolutely gorgeous so we passed the afternoon outside at the park all the way until dinner.
Pretty much right after mass it started raining, so we packed up early and headed back to Torino. That afternoon I went out for aperitvi/dinner and drinks with the newest aupair to come to Torino: Katherine. Check this out: she is best friends with Irina!! She's from NoVa, just graduated from Tech, and knows many JMU Ambassadors thanks to the lovely Irina. Talk about small world! We went to an English Pub intown and got to know each other. Veramente una buona ragazza. Very cool girl.
Sunday September 20, 2 days before my 21st birthday. :D
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